Love, Lifestyle and Love Island

Appearance and physical attraction has arguably become the most important and first thing that people look for when seeking love. Natural beauty and personality is becoming less valuable. More and more people would much rather appear to have a lush lifestyle instead of a ’10/10′ personality.

We use social media sites, dating apps and even watch programmes such as Love Island which all contribute to the pressure of finding someone to fall in love with. However, this “love” that is being drilled into us seems to be based on what people look like. The individuals shown on shows like Love Island all have something in common. Materialism. They all appear to be the type of people that are buying the latest brands for clothes, makeup and gadgets. Is this representation of a perfect lifestyle damaging though?

I admire people who present themselves well. I think that it’s important. However, it’s also important to not fall for someone simply because or their way of living. In ten years time, your lifestyle changes. A lot. Don’t think that because someone you’re attracted to has an iPhone X now, they are going to be seen as trendy in 10 ten years time. Because they won’t, and neither will their iPhone X. If your significant other is caring. Genuinely caring, not to look good in front of others but because they really CARE. That’s ‘attractive’. Or it should be anyway. However, shows like Love Island haven’t really emphasised how important those sorts of qualities in relationships are. In ten years time, if your partner is still caring, then you’re the winner. Logic. Simple logic.

We all know that personality is important. We understand that Love Island is for entertainment purposes and that it’s fake and set up and blah blah blah. The problem is that young people genuinely can’t disconnect the fact that Love Island is a show and not real life. Fourteen year old’s are growing up with the mindset that money can buy you happiness and a partner can make you look fancy. Love Island is just one of the shows that push this ideology and it’s all rooted from capitalism but let’s not get too deep for the sake of Love Island being the lead example.

It just seems weird that these shows are portraying perfection as something that it really isn’t. But that’s entertainment for you. We have to admit that these shows are addictive and fun to watch. I didn’t watch this years series but I watched last years and I genuinely enjoyed it. These shows are great for entertainment, just don’t be one of those people that can’t disconnect reality TV and real life simply because Kem and Amber are still ‘together’.

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Don’t Touch My Hair

Despite my love for Solange’s record ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ , an angry but peaceful anthem along with her visual artistry of a music video, that’s not what this post is going to be about. Let’s talk about people feeling the need to touch afro hair and the problems the come with it.

Touching my hair for your own pleasure isn’t cool. I hope that this post helps to explain and justify my reasons for why this isn’t just black people overreacting. Personally, I take offence to people who ask to touch my hair (or touch it without my permission). This is not only because it’s annoying, but I also understand why it’s problematic.

Firstly, it’s simply rude, annoying and uncomfortable for me when someone asks to touch my hair. It’s abnormal. However, people seem to think that just because my hair is has a different texture theirs that it’s okay to touch it when it pleases them.

It seems that only a small amount of people seem to understand that touching my afro hair is actually an act of a racial microaggression. A subtle, non verbal action that communicates negative messages. I do understand that it’s rarely ever done with the intention to make us, feel uncomfortable, but it does. When it comes down to the microagression, touching our hair makes us feel ‘different’ and not ‘normal’. This makes sense because people say that our hair is ‘exotic’ and ‘unfamiliar’.

Society has created a phenomenon that wearing natural afro hair comes with labels of unprofessional and deviance. These are negative labels causing black people, especially women, to make the decision not to wear their natural afro hair. They’ll wear weaves etc instead (because of the negative connotation that come along with it) which isn’t fair.

The Eurocentric beauty standards also contribute to the microagression the majority have created an idea that you’re a “beautiful” woman if you have a thin nose, white/tanned skin, a slim body, light coloured eyes and STRAIGHT HAIR. Black people just don’t naturally fit into these categories. This is why it is difficult for us to let you touch out hair because you say it feels ‘different’.

Plus, if i’m honest, there’s nothing special about my hair. It might smell good, but that’s all. So please, don’t touch my hair.